An emotional void is the empty space that lacks meaningful emotion. An emotional void can be described various ways – numbness, a sense of nothingness, lack of excitement, lack of purpose, hopelessness, isolation, and feelings of being disconnected, lost or confused.

My therapist used the term emotional void in one of my previous sessions back in march, and it was possibly the best way of summing up where I was in that moment of my life. I was numb, hopeless and had a complete lack of purpose. I didn't see the point to my life I felt like I was purely existing yet not living. She stopped me for a second and asked me to listen outside, birds were singing. "That's a reason" she said. I carried that away with me from that session and its something out of all the sessions I always think of first. It might just be because I had had a particularly bad week and that therapy session helped me rationalise and lift me out of the slump, however it did make a huge impact on making small steps forwards. Which brings me here today - Wednesday the 18th April.

I am in a good place currently and although I know I will most likely have some low days I am trying my hardest to live in today as apposed to worrying about future me. I still have my big goals I am working towards but I also have lots of small daily goals. My therapy session went well yesterday, it was a good catch up as I had not seen her for a good few weeks (I cancelled a session as I was mentally unwell and unable to get myself to her). We discussed how I had been and it was nice and refreshingly positive. I had been using the Mindfulness technique we had discussed previously and focusing on the here and now. It has helped get me get myself into a pleasant morning routine. A cup of Tea and a breakfast bar to start the day and with the weather warming up getting outside and the use of the garden has made things easier.

I feel the void lifting, I am starting to see a purpose again, I'm enjoying life again and I am very grateful to my husband, family and friends who are helping me recover. Its all about taking those small steps to wellness.